Published Sept. 9, 2005, in the Waukesha Freeman

Story by Matthew Webber

BROOKFIELD - A new book from a Brookfield author could help area schools - and the students within them - handle the problem of bullying.

"Bullying: How to Deal With Taunting, Teasing, and Tormenting" tries to teach middle and high school students how to do just that, the author, Kathleen Winkler, said.

Winkler's main advice to these students is not to fight back but to report bullying to a parent, teacher, school official or other trusted adult.

"Most experts say (fighting back) is not a good solution because you can end up really getting hurt," Winkler said. "Most experts say go to an adult. Tell someone. ... Because if the schools know about it, then they can be prepared to do something about it."

Doing nothing is also not a good solution, Winkler added, because the bullying will continue.

Once school officials become aware of a bullying problem, they can do a variety of things to address it. Schoolwide assemblies, behavior contracts, intervention programs and new consequences for intimidating behavior are just a few of the possibilities.

Winkler, who has written almost a dozen books from a Christian perspective, came to her conclusions about bullying after almost two years of researching the topic and interviewing principals, counselors, psychologists and students.

She hopes her latest book, which is sold primarily to middle and high school libraries, will bring attention to a recurring problem.

"So much of it (bullying) is below the radar screen," she said. "The teachers don't see it. The principal doesn't see it. They may see a little, but they don't know the extent of it."

One reason bullying sometimes goes undetected is because it can be verbal as well as physical. Officials understandably are concerned about Columbine-style violence, Winkler said, but they also should focus on smaller disturbances.

Even girls can be bullies, either individually or as part of a clique.

"For a long time, people just said, 'Well, that's just girls. They're catty,'" Winkler said. "But now they're beginning to look at it and say that's a form of bullying. It's intimidation."

Chris Benyousky, director of counseling at Catholic Memorial High School in Waukesha, agreed the stereotypical bully is male, but so-called "mean girls" can be equally problematic.

"When people think of bullying, they think of bullying between guys," Benyousky said. "It does happen between girls. Girls can be real nasty."

Benyousky also agreed with Winkler about schools needing to address bullying before it gets out of hand or even before it begins. For this reason, Catholic Memorial tries to cultivate a comfortable, communicative environment that empowers students to deal with their own problems.

"Through our theology classes and even through the rest of our curriculum, students are exposed to the importance of respecting each other," he said. "I think it's really important to be proactive in handling problems, whether it's bullying or other problems."

But if students feel like they still "don't have the tools to deal with" a bully, then they should seek an adult, he added.